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I’m not dead after all? With great reluctance she opened her eyes. Her blurred vision rendered him an indistinct silhouette, yet an unmistakable one nonetheless.Khamûl.“I know what it is you wish for. Once, a very long time ago, I thought the same. I have to warn you that there is no escape that way. You will not be allowed to die.”He was holding her half-immersed, effortlessly supporting her weight with one mighty arm. Éowyn attempted to respond, but her ravaged throat was mute, her bruised lips too sore even for whispers.“Drink this. It will help.” He produced a slender ewer filled with a thick, cream-colored liquid. A flood of horrible memories came rushing back and she turned her head away.“It is not what you think. It is the extract of a plant ... I do not know which one ... and it will ease your suffering. Drink it!”He poured a few drops at a time into her cracked and battered mouth, waiting patiently for her to summon enough strength to swallow. He was right — the elixir. She wanted to cut it off cleanly, and she had.As I realized this, I actually felt better about it. She’d done the right thing. I had not long turned 16 by then, but I felt like a man. The teacher had taught me; she’d come and do her job. My confidence was totally transformed after that. I never had any problem talking to girls, or getting tongue-tied when I liked someone or being all hesitant if I wanted to ask someone out. That confidence in itself seemed to make me attractive to girls, even though I never thought of myself as anything special in the looks or body department.So far from looking back on it as an adult taking advantage of a child for her own selfish pleasure, I truly believe she wanted to help me become that confident person. And I’m truly grateful – it was wonderful, and while it also includes a lot of embarrassing elements, I can see that was just my inexperience and naivety. I’m sure she also had her own selfish reasons as well, but she is more than welcome to.
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